Funny Jokes

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way. What are we going to do for Christmas?"

While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic !

1. Don't change horses .......until they stop running.

2. Strike while the .............................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before ......Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ............termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but ........how?

6. Don't bite the hand that .................looks dirty.

7. No news is ..........................................impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ............Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ............... math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ..............stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust .............. me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ................... pigs.

13. An idle mind is .............the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's ................. pollution.

15. Happy the bride who ............gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ......................not much.

17. Two's company, three's .............. the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ...........you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as ............Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ...............spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed .........get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you .......see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind .... get out of the way.

And the WINNER and the last one...

25. Better late than .............pregnant!

YES THEY ARE 1ST GRADERS